November 29, 2010 is a bittersweet day in my memory. Well, "bittersweet" is not exactly the right word, but it's the best I can come up with right now. This day stands out in my mind for two happenings - one a community tragedy, and the other, a personal memory that I have often in the past year found myself hanging on to for dear life.
Anyone living in this area - and probably many others - remember this day as the day that four local police officers were ambushed and murdered by an evil man as they were sitting in a coffee shop. It happened less than a mile from church, where I was at the time, and we received news of what had happened within minutes of it happening. It was horrifying.
For a long time, I wasn't really sure why the ordeal hit me as hard as it did. I mean, Steve and I had no personal connection to any of the officers. They weren't even from Steve's department. Some probably thought I might be upset because I now had reason to be more afraid for Steve at work - but that wasn't it at all. What I finally realized is that I was really just hurting for the families of those officers. Though I couldn't even fathom what they were going through, I think that any of us whose spouses are in law enforcement could empathize a bit more BECAUSE of our connection to law enforcement.
Even still, EVERY time I drive by that coffee shop (it's on my way to church, so that's at least 2-3 times/week), I feel sad. Sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on the day. And I know I can't be the only person who still prays for the families...I desperately hope they feel those prayers. I wish I could do more.
Here are some pictures from Sunday's ceremony for the dedication of the memorial for the slain officers: http://blog.thenewstribune.com/photo/2010/11/28/forza-memorial-dedication/
Like I said, this day also holds a more personal memory for me, though I didn't the know the significance at the time. This ended up being the day when I would visit with and talk to my grandpa for the very last time of my life.
That morning, my grandpa was up early and heard on the "breaking" news that "4 police officers had been shot and killed in Tacoma". It didn't say which department, and obviously it wasn't the giving the names of the officers at that point. I was at church when the shooting happened, and my grandpa was the first to call me. Remembering the fear in his voice still makes me cry. He really loved us. And he had to know Steve was okay. We only talked for a few minutes, and I told him I would call them back later.
Well, the day was pretty crazy, we were on the phone to many different people who had heard the news, and I forgot to call back. But it was okay, because sometime in the later afternoon, my grandparents showed up on our doorstep! It was so, so good to see them. We talked more about the details of what had happened, but mostly, they just played with the kids and were their usual funny selves. As they were leaving, though, I remember very clearly what my grandpa - said: that they just wanted to make sure in person that we were all right, and that they prayed regularly for Steve's safety, and that they loved us all very much. I didn't know then that just a short week later, he would enter the hospital where he would leave us, and that that was the last time I would really talk to him. (I talked to him a couple of times in the hospital, but we weren't really sure how much he heard...though I'd like to think he heard it all). So as simple as our last conversation was, I'm so thankful that I remember it. And I am so thankful that it happened at all, even if it was because of a tragedy.
I think it's a good thing to remember, even when it hurts to remember. We heal and we learn and grow when we remember. I have learned that with every passing year, painful memories tend to sting less and less (thank God!). But I hope the opposite isn't true - that is, I hope that sweet memories don't lessen in their sweetness over time. I'm pretty sure they don't if you don't let them, but writing them down can't hurt. :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
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8 comments:
That's a neat thought about sweet memories. Yes, hurts do take a long time to heal.
Aww, you made me cry. That was a hard day and grandparents really are special.
Thank you for sharing this Sarabeth. I still miss Grandpa so much and it's nice to hear about other people's interactions with him!
We missed you guys at Hunter's! I think it's the first time in a million years that we didn't get to chop a tree together! Hope you guys have a fun time next weekend. The 29th was not a fun day. I was sad with you.
Sweet thoughts of Grandpa, Sarabeth, and a good reminder to keep all law officers (especially Steve) in our prayers, as well as their families. Love you, Mom
Thanks for sharing about Grandpa. That's a cherished last memory of him- showing his love, concern and sacrifice for you. Miss him.
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