A couple good reads...

I always appreciate when someone gives me a good book recommendation, so I thought I'd do the same and pass along a couple of titles I think you should check out.

The first is a fabulous work of historical fiction, Sarah's Key by Tatiana DeRosnay. It has been a couple of months since I read this, but it still stands out very much in my heart and mind. Sarah's Key weaves together the stories of a modern-day American woman (Julia) living in Paris and a young girl (Sarah) who, along with her family, was taken away in the Vel' d'Hiv' WWII roundup in the summer of 1942 (I had never heard of it either). For the first half or so, I found myself way more interested in the 1942 portion of the story and annoyed when it would switch back to Julia's story. But as Julia's story began to reveal more of Sarah's (and Julia's story became more interesting in itself), I found myself hooked.

I know that historical fiction is still fiction, but from what I've read about this book, the author really did her homework. One of her main intents in writing this book was to tell the story of the Vel' d'Hiv' roundup - a part of Parisian (and world) history that, until recently, was either not known, or worse - ignored. It's not surprising that France would want to hide this very ugly and heartbreaking piece of its past, especially when we consider it from Sarah's perspective. Anyway, I won't give away anything else - just read it!

The second is Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, by Amy Chua. You may have heard of her and what it means to be a "tiger" mother and all of the controversy surrounding the parenting she represents. If not, a quick summary: Amy Chua is the daughter of Chinese immigrants, now raising two daughters of her own in the US. Her book is her own story, along with her observations on the differences between "Chinese" parenting and "Western" parenting (quotations because she acknowledges the generalizations she's making). While Western parenting is most often about nurturing and giving choices and encouraging individuality and creativity, Chinese parenting is much more strict and focuses on training and achievement.

Okay, so I'm not even sure where to start. Let me just say that this book was fascinating to me on many levels - mostly in the area of parenting, but also in the areas of teaching and piano and music. Honestly, I have never cringed so many times in reading a book. Chua is EXTREMELY demanding of her daughters, and her tactics include forcing them to practice hours a day (on instruments she chose for them) and calling them names...basically, what many Americans might label as emotional abuse. At times while reading this book, I hurt for those girls. Like I said - lots of cringing.

The book is not at all about the author claiming to know the only and best way of parenting. Actually, she frequently questions her own parenting, and in the end, makes a very impressive change in the way she parents her younger daughter. But she also questions the way Americans parent and makes some great points. She really got me thinking! One of the (many) ideas that has really got my wheels turning is that of self-esteem - something that American society/parenting is obsessed with but doesn't necessarily do a great job of building. I also appreciated her thoughts on happiness (and how "Western children are definitely no happier than Chinese ones"), her relationship with her daughters and how she wasn't crushed when they didn't "like" her, her belief that her daughters are much more strong than they are fragile, and her recognition of how very different her two daughters are and how she must parent them differently. And I have to give her kudos for her blatant honesty, knowing she'd receive crazy amounts of criticism, and also her humor and overall great writing.

A quote from her: "There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that."

This book really is about a mom who loves her kids and wants the best for them and is doing the best she can. I think we can all relate to that! I still disagree with many of the ways she parents (not to mention that our goals of parenting are apparently very different)...and it probably won't make you change your parenting ways entirely. But I do think she has some great insights that are worth considering.