This afternoon as I started making dinner for the family, Steve took the kids for a walk. As they headed down the winding path toward their destination, I had one of those moments of intense gratitude for the life God has given me. Travis was laughing and playing with Jessie, Jayna was walking next to Steve, and Evan was toddling behind them, anxious to keep up. It was a simple, everyday moment, but a beautiful one to me.
Growing up, I used to dream of my future husband and kids and wonder what they would be like and what our life together would look like. Watching them today, I realized that I am now living my dream. Our life together is not perfect or easy by a long shot, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My heart overflows with love for each of them!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Our fourth child
...is on the way.
Ha! Totally kidding! Actually, I would like to introduce our newest addition - not a human one, but just like a fourth child in many ways.
Meet Jessie!
Let me tell you, this dog has totally stolen my heart! I just love her to pieces. We got her 3 days before Christmas (she was about 7 weeks), and she is a now 2 1/2 month old chocolate lab/german shorthair mix, though she really just looks like a chocolate lab. She is so cute. We got her from my cousin - his dog is Jessie's mom. Eric (cousin) and his wife said that they could tell that this would be a good dog for us because she seemed mellow and sweet even early on, and they were totally right. In terms of temperament, she's great - playful, submissive, very loving and affectionate, and has not shown even a hint of aggression toward the kids or anything/one else.
Potty training has gone better than I expected, though not perfect. Potty training our kids was way easier :) She does still have occasional accidents, but for the most part, she's doing great now. And she does pretty well with a crate at night and when we leave during the day - in fact, last night she went into her crate before I could even tell her to go there. My biggest complaint is that she's not quite happy (or able?) to be in the crate for the entire night...there are some nights where we only get up once to let her out to go potty, but some nights she wants out more than that. So we're still trying to figure that out and hoping she'll soon be able to "hold it" all night. I really like my sleep.
Anyway, she is like a fourth child in that 1)she does require work/scolding/training/cleaning up after, etc.; and 2)we really love her! I come from a family of dog lovers, and Jessie is especially easy to love! Totally worth the work.
Ha! Totally kidding! Actually, I would like to introduce our newest addition - not a human one, but just like a fourth child in many ways.
Meet Jessie!
Let me tell you, this dog has totally stolen my heart! I just love her to pieces. We got her 3 days before Christmas (she was about 7 weeks), and she is a now 2 1/2 month old chocolate lab/german shorthair mix, though she really just looks like a chocolate lab. She is so cute. We got her from my cousin - his dog is Jessie's mom. Eric (cousin) and his wife said that they could tell that this would be a good dog for us because she seemed mellow and sweet even early on, and they were totally right. In terms of temperament, she's great - playful, submissive, very loving and affectionate, and has not shown even a hint of aggression toward the kids or anything/one else.Potty training has gone better than I expected, though not perfect. Potty training our kids was way easier :) She does still have occasional accidents, but for the most part, she's doing great now. And she does pretty well with a crate at night and when we leave during the day - in fact, last night she went into her crate before I could even tell her to go there. My biggest complaint is that she's not quite happy (or able?) to be in the crate for the entire night...there are some nights where we only get up once to let her out to go potty, but some nights she wants out more than that. So we're still trying to figure that out and hoping she'll soon be able to "hold it" all night. I really like my sleep.
Anyway, she is like a fourth child in that 1)she does require work/scolding/training/cleaning up after, etc.; and 2)we really love her! I come from a family of dog lovers, and Jessie is especially easy to love! Totally worth the work.
On our first night home (same with the top picture). This was taken after a VERY long drive from picking her up - thus, the slight lack of enthusiasm :)
When we first got her, she was smaller than our cat, and right around 8 lbs. As of this last Tuesday (less than a month later), she was already 18 lbs. It's crazy how fast they grow! Oh, and this was the first time Ruby was brave enought to get close.
Waiting patiently to be let outside. 
Taken just a couple days ago...you can see how much she has grown!
Monday, November 29, 2010
This day last year
November 29, 2010 is a bittersweet day in my memory. Well, "bittersweet" is not exactly the right word, but it's the best I can come up with right now. This day stands out in my mind for two happenings - one a community tragedy, and the other, a personal memory that I have often in the past year found myself hanging on to for dear life.
Anyone living in this area - and probably many others - remember this day as the day that four local police officers were ambushed and murdered by an evil man as they were sitting in a coffee shop. It happened less than a mile from church, where I was at the time, and we received news of what had happened within minutes of it happening. It was horrifying.
For a long time, I wasn't really sure why the ordeal hit me as hard as it did. I mean, Steve and I had no personal connection to any of the officers. They weren't even from Steve's department. Some probably thought I might be upset because I now had reason to be more afraid for Steve at work - but that wasn't it at all. What I finally realized is that I was really just hurting for the families of those officers. Though I couldn't even fathom what they were going through, I think that any of us whose spouses are in law enforcement could empathize a bit more BECAUSE of our connection to law enforcement.
Even still, EVERY time I drive by that coffee shop (it's on my way to church, so that's at least 2-3 times/week), I feel sad. Sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on the day. And I know I can't be the only person who still prays for the families...I desperately hope they feel those prayers. I wish I could do more.
Here are some pictures from Sunday's ceremony for the dedication of the memorial for the slain officers: http://blog.thenewstribune.com/photo/2010/11/28/forza-memorial-dedication/
Like I said, this day also holds a more personal memory for me, though I didn't the know the significance at the time. This ended up being the day when I would visit with and talk to my grandpa for the very last time of my life.
That morning, my grandpa was up early and heard on the "breaking" news that "4 police officers had been shot and killed in Tacoma". It didn't say which department, and obviously it wasn't the giving the names of the officers at that point. I was at church when the shooting happened, and my grandpa was the first to call me. Remembering the fear in his voice still makes me cry. He really loved us. And he had to know Steve was okay. We only talked for a few minutes, and I told him I would call them back later.
Well, the day was pretty crazy, we were on the phone to many different people who had heard the news, and I forgot to call back. But it was okay, because sometime in the later afternoon, my grandparents showed up on our doorstep! It was so, so good to see them. We talked more about the details of what had happened, but mostly, they just played with the kids and were their usual funny selves. As they were leaving, though, I remember very clearly what my grandpa - said: that they just wanted to make sure in person that we were all right, and that they prayed regularly for Steve's safety, and that they loved us all very much. I didn't know then that just a short week later, he would enter the hospital where he would leave us, and that that was the last time I would really talk to him. (I talked to him a couple of times in the hospital, but we weren't really sure how much he heard...though I'd like to think he heard it all). So as simple as our last conversation was, I'm so thankful that I remember it. And I am so thankful that it happened at all, even if it was because of a tragedy.
I think it's a good thing to remember, even when it hurts to remember. We heal and we learn and grow when we remember. I have learned that with every passing year, painful memories tend to sting less and less (thank God!). But I hope the opposite isn't true - that is, I hope that sweet memories don't lessen in their sweetness over time. I'm pretty sure they don't if you don't let them, but writing them down can't hurt. :)
Anyone living in this area - and probably many others - remember this day as the day that four local police officers were ambushed and murdered by an evil man as they were sitting in a coffee shop. It happened less than a mile from church, where I was at the time, and we received news of what had happened within minutes of it happening. It was horrifying.
For a long time, I wasn't really sure why the ordeal hit me as hard as it did. I mean, Steve and I had no personal connection to any of the officers. They weren't even from Steve's department. Some probably thought I might be upset because I now had reason to be more afraid for Steve at work - but that wasn't it at all. What I finally realized is that I was really just hurting for the families of those officers. Though I couldn't even fathom what they were going through, I think that any of us whose spouses are in law enforcement could empathize a bit more BECAUSE of our connection to law enforcement.
Even still, EVERY time I drive by that coffee shop (it's on my way to church, so that's at least 2-3 times/week), I feel sad. Sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on the day. And I know I can't be the only person who still prays for the families...I desperately hope they feel those prayers. I wish I could do more.
Here are some pictures from Sunday's ceremony for the dedication of the memorial for the slain officers: http://blog.thenewstribune.com/photo/2010/11/28/forza-memorial-dedication/
Like I said, this day also holds a more personal memory for me, though I didn't the know the significance at the time. This ended up being the day when I would visit with and talk to my grandpa for the very last time of my life.
That morning, my grandpa was up early and heard on the "breaking" news that "4 police officers had been shot and killed in Tacoma". It didn't say which department, and obviously it wasn't the giving the names of the officers at that point. I was at church when the shooting happened, and my grandpa was the first to call me. Remembering the fear in his voice still makes me cry. He really loved us. And he had to know Steve was okay. We only talked for a few minutes, and I told him I would call them back later.
Well, the day was pretty crazy, we were on the phone to many different people who had heard the news, and I forgot to call back. But it was okay, because sometime in the later afternoon, my grandparents showed up on our doorstep! It was so, so good to see them. We talked more about the details of what had happened, but mostly, they just played with the kids and were their usual funny selves. As they were leaving, though, I remember very clearly what my grandpa - said: that they just wanted to make sure in person that we were all right, and that they prayed regularly for Steve's safety, and that they loved us all very much. I didn't know then that just a short week later, he would enter the hospital where he would leave us, and that that was the last time I would really talk to him. (I talked to him a couple of times in the hospital, but we weren't really sure how much he heard...though I'd like to think he heard it all). So as simple as our last conversation was, I'm so thankful that I remember it. And I am so thankful that it happened at all, even if it was because of a tragedy.
I think it's a good thing to remember, even when it hurts to remember. We heal and we learn and grow when we remember. I have learned that with every passing year, painful memories tend to sting less and less (thank God!). But I hope the opposite isn't true - that is, I hope that sweet memories don't lessen in their sweetness over time. I'm pretty sure they don't if you don't let them, but writing them down can't hurt. :)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Pumpkin patch pictures
Just spent way too much time trying to figure out how to change this blog layout (and what I wanted to change it to). I have to say that the "ya'll" at the top of the page really bugs me (it should be "y'all", and yes, I'm a grammar/punctuation/spelling nerd)...but the overall design was too cute to pass up.
It's been awhile since I posted pictures...so here you go! These are from a trip to a small pumpkin patch back at the beginning of October.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I just ran a half-marathon?!
Running has been a part of my life, to varying degrees, since I was a kid. I remember even as young as 10 or 11, running short kids' runs while my mom, who has been a "real" runner for years, would run the longer runs and my two younger sisters and I were just along for the ride. But we're talking short 1 or 2 mile runs, and only a couple times a year. In high school, I didn't run cross country or track or anything, but at some point during my junior year, I decided to do something about the fact that I didn't like the way I looked. I started running - just for 30 minutes, 4-5 times/week, and I lost 20 lbs. in maybe 6 or so months. Then when I went away to PLU and worried that I would gain the dreaded "freshman 15", I ran a few times a week, when I could squeeze it in to my crazy schedule. And then even after I got married (but before kids), I was an on-again, off-again runner. But after I started having kids, I only did a bit of running/walking here and there, in between pregnancies.
About this time last year, I started running more consistently, and in February, I set two goals for myself: I would run a 12K in June, and a half-marathon in September. I registered for the Sound to Narrows simply for the timing and proximity to home. And right after that race, I registered for the You Go Girl Half Marathon, again because I wouldn't have to travel, and because I knew it wouldn't be terribly hilly, and I figured the all-girl atmosphere would make it a fun one.
The 12K was back in June, the Sound to Narrows run. I had done the 5K before, but not the 12. It was hard - lots of hills, some of them long ones. But I actually ran it faster than I expected, finishing at 1:12. I remember when I finished, however, thinking "there's no way on earth I'll be able to run a half-marathon". It seemed so far out of reach. And even up until a couple of weeks before the half, I was feeling a little unsure. I had worked myself up to 11 mile runs, but when I finished I'd practically have to crawl back to my car :)
But....I did it!! 13.1 miles is REALLY FAR, let me tell you, but I did it! Don't get me wrong - at times it seriously sucked and I wanted to quit, but I was just so proud and thankful when I crossed that finish line!
Regardless of my time, I am especially proud of two things:
1)My training. I worked so hard for this, logging many miles and many hours. It would have been very easy for me to ease up or quit my training any number of times, especially with our crazy-busy summer, 3 young and thus needy kids, our always changing schedule, etc. But I was consistent.
2)On race day, I felt like crap. Seriously, I hadn't been sick for months, then 2 days before the race, of course I should get sick! I had body aches, chills, headache....basically, the flu our kids had passed around all week. On Saturday I felt considerably better, and on Sunday when I woke up I felt okay. When I started to feel a bit feverish before the race, I thought maybe it was just nerves or I was imagining it? The first 2-3 miles I started out pretty strong, even through the worst of the hills, but then around mile 3 I started feeling really dizzy and nauseous, and I even at one point swallowed back a bit of puke. (sorry, I know that's gross). I slowed way down and tried to relax, but at this point, I was very seriously considering just quitting at the 10K mark. I didn't want to be the one who passed out and needed a medic. But then I got to the sign that said "10K (arrow)/half-marathon (arrow)", I just had to go for it. Even if I had to go at a slower pace, I KNEW I would be really disappointed if I didn't do what I had trained for all these months. I'm proud of myself for fighting through that. Running is just as hard mentally as it is physically, but even more so when you are sick. And despite the way I felt, I pulled of a pace and time that I'm really happy with!
Now, I'm not sure what's next. I do know that, aside from any pregnancies, illnesses, or injuries, I will always be a runner. It keeps my healthy and fit, but more than that, it keeps me emotionally fit. Sometimes I think it's what keeps me sane :) It makes me feel strong and confident and capable, and I need something that makes me feel strong and confident and capable. I will probably never be the fastest runner out there (as I admitted to myself while being passed left and right by all the skinny girls in spandex), but that's okay. I'm also not the slowest one out there, and for me, consistency is the most important thing. I also enjoy finding new routes and areas in which to run, and one day I hope to connect more with other runners, maybe join a running group.
Before this race, I was thinking that my next goal would be to run to lose weight (because running to lose weight is different from running to train for a long race). But now that I have a taste of what it's like to finish a half, I want to do another! So I'm pretty sure I'm going to do the Seattle Marathon Half Marathon at the end of November. It will be a huge event, and I'll be running in new territory, so I think it will be lots of fun. And I'm looking forward to seeing how I can do when I'm NOT sick.
One more thing - I am so thankful for a husband who is supportive of me in this. He's spent a lot of extra time with the kids (and without me) so that I could train. He actually was assigned to traffic control during my race, and I got to see him a few different times during the run. The last time I saw him (maybe around mile 9?) I yelled to him that I wanted to die, and he just laughed at me and cheered me on. I love knowing that he is proud of me!
A friend took this, and I'm smiling only because I'm at about mile 12.9. And that's rain, not just sweat :)
About this time last year, I started running more consistently, and in February, I set two goals for myself: I would run a 12K in June, and a half-marathon in September. I registered for the Sound to Narrows simply for the timing and proximity to home. And right after that race, I registered for the You Go Girl Half Marathon, again because I wouldn't have to travel, and because I knew it wouldn't be terribly hilly, and I figured the all-girl atmosphere would make it a fun one.
The 12K was back in June, the Sound to Narrows run. I had done the 5K before, but not the 12. It was hard - lots of hills, some of them long ones. But I actually ran it faster than I expected, finishing at 1:12. I remember when I finished, however, thinking "there's no way on earth I'll be able to run a half-marathon". It seemed so far out of reach. And even up until a couple of weeks before the half, I was feeling a little unsure. I had worked myself up to 11 mile runs, but when I finished I'd practically have to crawl back to my car :)
But....I did it!! 13.1 miles is REALLY FAR, let me tell you, but I did it! Don't get me wrong - at times it seriously sucked and I wanted to quit, but I was just so proud and thankful when I crossed that finish line!
Regardless of my time, I am especially proud of two things:
1)My training. I worked so hard for this, logging many miles and many hours. It would have been very easy for me to ease up or quit my training any number of times, especially with our crazy-busy summer, 3 young and thus needy kids, our always changing schedule, etc. But I was consistent.
2)On race day, I felt like crap. Seriously, I hadn't been sick for months, then 2 days before the race, of course I should get sick! I had body aches, chills, headache....basically, the flu our kids had passed around all week. On Saturday I felt considerably better, and on Sunday when I woke up I felt okay. When I started to feel a bit feverish before the race, I thought maybe it was just nerves or I was imagining it? The first 2-3 miles I started out pretty strong, even through the worst of the hills, but then around mile 3 I started feeling really dizzy and nauseous, and I even at one point swallowed back a bit of puke. (sorry, I know that's gross). I slowed way down and tried to relax, but at this point, I was very seriously considering just quitting at the 10K mark. I didn't want to be the one who passed out and needed a medic. But then I got to the sign that said "10K (arrow)/half-marathon (arrow)", I just had to go for it. Even if I had to go at a slower pace, I KNEW I would be really disappointed if I didn't do what I had trained for all these months. I'm proud of myself for fighting through that. Running is just as hard mentally as it is physically, but even more so when you are sick. And despite the way I felt, I pulled of a pace and time that I'm really happy with!
Now, I'm not sure what's next. I do know that, aside from any pregnancies, illnesses, or injuries, I will always be a runner. It keeps my healthy and fit, but more than that, it keeps me emotionally fit. Sometimes I think it's what keeps me sane :) It makes me feel strong and confident and capable, and I need something that makes me feel strong and confident and capable. I will probably never be the fastest runner out there (as I admitted to myself while being passed left and right by all the skinny girls in spandex), but that's okay. I'm also not the slowest one out there, and for me, consistency is the most important thing. I also enjoy finding new routes and areas in which to run, and one day I hope to connect more with other runners, maybe join a running group.
Before this race, I was thinking that my next goal would be to run to lose weight (because running to lose weight is different from running to train for a long race). But now that I have a taste of what it's like to finish a half, I want to do another! So I'm pretty sure I'm going to do the Seattle Marathon Half Marathon at the end of November. It will be a huge event, and I'll be running in new territory, so I think it will be lots of fun. And I'm looking forward to seeing how I can do when I'm NOT sick.
One more thing - I am so thankful for a husband who is supportive of me in this. He's spent a lot of extra time with the kids (and without me) so that I could train. He actually was assigned to traffic control during my race, and I got to see him a few different times during the run. The last time I saw him (maybe around mile 9?) I yelled to him that I wanted to die, and he just laughed at me and cheered me on. I love knowing that he is proud of me!
A friend took this, and I'm smiling only because I'm at about mile 12.9. And that's rain, not just sweat :)
Monday, September 27, 2010
"The days are long, but the years are short..."
It's been just over a month now since we sent our Trav-man off to kindergarten. What a bittersweet day, in so many ways!
In the days leading up to Travis' first day, I did a really great job of ignoring my feelings. :) I love the excitement of the back-to-school season - supply shopping, letters from teachers, clothes shopping, etc. So I was able to focus more on the fun part of it rather than the reality that my firstborn is growing up. But the day before, and then when it came time to actually drop him off - whew! I was a wreck!
The image that kept coming to my mind that day was the one of just me and him (Steve was sound asleep) hours after he was born. It was the middle of the night at this point, and I couldn't put him down or fall asleep. All I could do was marvel and dream and try to wrap my mind around the fact that this was OUR baby, our son, and how everything had now changed. Easily one of the greatest few hours of my life - when I first became a mother.
I heard this quote at MOPS sometime last year, and thought about how very true it is when it comes to the preschool years....the days really can be sooooo long! Yet still, the years fly by. Where did five years go? This realization that his baby/toddler/young child years are over and I can never get them back was part of my sadness. But another part of it was knowing that once kids start school, time REALLY flies! I told Steve in tears that day, "He might as well be graduated from high school already!" Okay, so that may have been a slight exaggeration, but really....he's going to be in the 4th grade and then the 8th and then the 12th before I know it! I can (and will) cherish every bit of watching him grow up, but in the end, no matter how much we enjoy our kids while we have them - it's still going to seem like time flew by.
At Travis' school, there's a big courtyard in front of the building where you drop off/pick up your kids (there are no buses to this school), and as you can imagine, it was packed on the first day. I generally can't/don't like to cry around other people and was able to hold myself together for the 10 minutes while we waited for the bell to ring. But when I gave him a kiss and hug and then watched him wave at me as he followed his line inside....I melted. While many parents kind of peeked in to make sure their kids were doing what they were supposed to do, I made a beeline for the car where I could really let it all out. I missed him a lot that day, but then another very memorable mothering moment....picking him up at the end of the day! He had the biggest smile on his face and hugged me tightly, then proceeded to talk on and on and on about his teacher and new friends and how they get "THREE RECESSES!!"
Anyway, I'm better now :) We've settled into our new routine, and Travis LOVES kindergarten! The Tacoma School District does 5 full days for Kinders, which I thought might be a lot for him, but he has adjusted well. He's pretty cranky some evenings from tiredness, but then again, so am I :) I am SO impressed with his school and SO thankful we got him into it. His teacher is fabulous, and Travis looks forward to every single day. At home, I quickly came to realize the perks of him being at school for 6 1/2 hours every day - a)I get way more done! b)more time with Jayna and Evan!
Here's the thing about Travis...he is an attention hog. He doesn't mean to be, he's just really social and hates playing by himself. He loves people, and I love this about him! But what that has always meant for me is that he tends to monopolize my time by always wanting me to play with him/help him/watch him/you get the picture. And yes, I say no sometimes, because I have 2 other kids, a husband, and a house to manage! But now I know that Travis is learning and having fun...and I'm able to focus on the other people/things without always having to say no to him.
It makes me smile to think about how proud I am of Travis. I know he was a little nervous about his first day. He had already seen his classroom and briefly met his teacher once, but really, he was walking into brand new territory with so many unknowns...yet he walked bravely into his classroom with a smile on his face! I hope he can face all the challenges in his life with such bravery and trust.
This picture makes me laugh. I told Travis to "smile" and he said "I can't!" The sun was totally blinding, so we moved inside for the pictures.
Very proud of his Toy Story backpack and lunch bag.
In front of his school. This is his "I'm a little nervous" face :)
The wave goodbye. Makes me want to hug him :)
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