Seasons

Do you ever have a hard time starting a post? Or any type of writing, for that matter? I remember my high school/college writing courses, and how I almost always wrote the body and conclusions of papers before going back and writing the opening paragraph. I'm having one of those moments rights now, but that could just be because I need to go to bed. But dang it, I have something to write about! Anyway....

Sometimes in the evening after the kids are in bed and I'm cleaning, etc. downstairs, I like to listen to the talk shows on our Christian radio station..."Focus on the Family" is on first, and then "Family Life". Okay, actually, I only do this rarely, but I always enjoy it. Well, God must have known that I needed to hear last night's message, because I decided to turn it on and listen. And I'm so glad I did, because it brought me peace over an issue that I've been thinking a lot about lately. (Isn't it great when God works that way...gives you the exact message you need, exactly when you need it?!)

I've been thinking a lot lately about my current role in the world, particularly as a Christian. Let me say, first of all, that I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. And to this day, I wouldn't want it any other way. I love that, for now, I can be aware of every single influence over my kids' impressionable minds, whether that be people, tv programs, books, etc.; I love being there for my kids any time they need me, and mostly, I love spending time with them and being able to watch them grow in every way, big and small. It's no exaggeration when I say the rewards are endless. On the other hand, there are definitely some potential drawbacks that sometimes you have to work to safeguard yourself against...social starvation, a lack of intellectual stimulation, a decline in any work skills you may have attained in the past, slight to severe shortages of patience and level-headedness that may then lead to you being less than the nurturing mother you want to be....I could go on. These are all things I have felt at one time or another, but what I struggle with possibly more than anything else (as a stay-at-home mom) is that sometimes I wonder if I should be doing more, that I should be someone more. Like I'm "just" a stay-at-home mom. Come on, my fellow SAHM's, you know what I mean, right?! I know several people around my age/stage in life who are doing amazing things beyond the four walls of their own homes...some of them have no kids, which obviously makes it easier, but the ones who truly amaze me are the moms. Some moms I know work part or full time, and yet still have all the energy, stamina, and love, to be truly outstanding moms. (If you are one of them, I am in awe of you!) And I look at them and think, "Wow. Look at the difference they are making". And then I wonder if maybe, just maybe, I should be doing "more" with my precious time on earth.

On Monday night, Steve and I attended a meeting at church where we listened to a speaker talk about "making ripples"...how one life affects another, which affects another, and so on. He encouraged the crowd to take risks, to put themselves out there, to find ways to be part of the advancement of God's kingdom. It was a really great talk, but initially, I was a tad bit discouraged. Obviously, I am making enormous ripples in the lives of my children. But is that enough? If all of us only worried about affecting the lives of our kids, then what about all the non-believers? I don't want to just train my children how to be productive citizens and loving Christians, I want to be a productive citizen and loving Christian myself! And yes, I am involved in our MOPS ministry at church, and also am a member of the worship team, and I cultivate friendships that I do believe (or at least hope) create "ripples". But 94.5% of my time is spent being "mom". And again, though "mom" is the role I value more than any other (aside from "child of God" and "wife"), is "mom" enough?

Also, aside from wanting to make sure I am doing what God wants me to be doing at this stage in life, I also sometimes just plain miss the other aspects of who I am....things such as a teacher and a musician (and a traveller, a writer....). Not that I never live out these other roles...they are just not priorities right now. But sometimes I feel the need to be validated, in that I am a mom, but I am so many other things, as well.

Okay, now fast forward to the radio program. The topic was "Biblical womanhood", and they (2 men and a woman, not sure exactly who they were) were talking about the Biblical view of the many roles that women play. I'll just skip to the part that was so encouraging...they were talking about how, from the beginning of time, one of the greatest roles of both men and women has been to advance the kingdom of God. Then the woman spoke up and talked about the time in her life when she was a SAHM, and she was thinking/wondering about all the same things I've been talking about. She then made two critical points, both of which I knew, but it was still nice to be reminded of.

First, she reminded us that in terms of advancing God's kingdom, our single greatest contribution we will make will be to mold the hearts of our kids, and to teach them to love God and others. Yes, we will accomplish more and contribute more than "just" raising Godly kids, but that is most definitely our greatest task of all, and the area of greatest influence on the world. Therefore, I want to take full advantage of this time and cherish it and nurture it as if it will be gone tomorrow.

Which leads nicely to her second point....every single stage of life is a season. And each of us, no matter where we are in life, need to remember that in the blink of an eye, our current season will pass. When you are in the midst of the constant hard work of raising young children, it is easy to feel like the work will never end, like you will ALWAYS be the mother of young children (especially when you want lots of kids, as I do!). But you know what? I will teach again someday, in some capacity, Steve and I will travel more, I will dive back in to music wholeheartedly...and without a doubt, I will miss this season of peek-a-boo, playdates, endless kisses, sweet giggles, and rediscovering the world. I know I will miss it dearly.

And so, the lesson learned for me personally is to embrace my role of full-time mommy and savor every minute of it, because it will be gone before I know it. (Despite all I've said, I'm actually very resistant to the idea of my kids growing up. Sometimes I wish I could stop time in it's tracks!) I also want to be the best mom I can be, and not grow complacent in that goal. And this is a good lesson for all of us, that no matter where you are in life (working mom, stay at home mom, college student, empty-nester....), enjoy it, and know that no matter what stage it is, it is an opportunity to be used by God.

Isn't that encouraging?! I thought so.