Life with three

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged! It's not that I haven't wanted to or haven't had anything to blog about, it's just that in order to blog, it takes me both time and mental energy. And it's been a while since I've had both at the same time. But I'm starting to feel a bit more on top of things these days, so hopefully I'll quickly be able to get caught up on the blog.

Evan is 7 weeks tomorrow...that's right, 7 weeks!! Even when the days and nights are long, time still flies! People have been asking me pretty much since he was born what life is like with three kids. I've been meaning to answer this question on the blog for a long time now, but it's probably good that I didn't right away because if I had answered it weeks ago, my answer would have been skewed by a lack of sleep and a somewhat frequent feeling that I was in over my head. :) Now, however, Evan is sleeping much more/better at night, and I've learned some things that have brought me to where I am now...feeling like it IS possible for me to be a good mom to three, but also really enjoying it! Not always, mind you, but hey - is there ANY mom out there who thoroughly enjoys her kids ALL of the time? If so, you're lying:) We all have our tough moments. Anyway...

The biggest way I've adapted is that I've had to become more disciplined. And really, this needed to happen. I don't let myself spend nearly as much time on the computer. I do laundry pretty much continually, rather than procrastinating and trying to do it all at once. I don't let myself stay up so late, and I also don't wait until the last possible second to get out of bed in the morning. I try really hard to spend time with God every day. Granted, I'm not talking in depth analyzation of the Bible...I'm talking literally a 5 minute devotion and quick prayer time. I've learned that my day/attitude will be infinitely better and I will have so much more patience and joy if I a)am rested, and b)had my devotion time. (I have one book of short devotions...if anyone has any recommendations in that department, let me know).

At the same time, I've also learned to lower my expectations in certain areas. Which generally is a tough thing for me to do, but it has been a necessity. As you know, I am a to-do list person. I still have these lists, but now I don't force myself to be superwoman and try to accomplish way more than I am actually able. My lists are much more realistic - and this way I don't feel like a failure by never being able to complete it. I'm quite proud of myself right now because "update the blog" is the last thing on my to-do list for this week! And feeling proud and competent is much better than dwelling on how much you have left to do. There will ALWAYS be more housework/chores. I've definitely learned to prioritize...I may have a list a mile long of projects/chores/etc. to complete, but it's all about pinpointing what is most important at any given time. And if I must let certain things wait so that I can address the most important tasks (beyond simply caring for the kids, which takes the most time by far!), so be it! And it certainly helps that I have a husband who is SO hands-on with the kids. I don't know how I'd be managing if Steve wasn't as helpful and involved as he is. I'd go crazy!!

One other thing I've noticed is that I am so CONSTANTLY busy addressing needs - seriously, I basically go from one kid to another all day taking care of needs - that I can see how it would be super easy to remain on autopilot until, years from now, I look back and realize that there was so much I missed or that I don't remember. So, I've begun a journal that I write in every night. I only allow myself 1-2 sentences, because if I did more then I wouldn't be able to keep it up. Every day, I pick a favorite mommy moment (a funny thing one of them said, a sweet thing one did, a milestone, etc.), and I write it down. It really helps me to pause, be thankful, and be aware of my kids as they are right now. I highly recommend this idea to any parent!

One thing I'm still working on is trying to figure out how to get my "me" time. I'm a person who is energized and refreshed by being alone, even if just for a bit. I'm thinking my best bet will be getting up before the kids, which I'm often doing these days, anyway, because of Evan. It is also nice to be able to get out with the girls or with Steve every once in a while, but that will get easier as Evan gets older. I don't like being away from him for very long at this point!

The kids are doing so well with Evan. If anything, I have to protect him from Jayna's coddling. She likes to hug him, but when she does, she puts her entire weight on him, which does not make him happy:) She frequently tries to shove binkies in his mouth and "bounce" him in his chair. She calls him "baby Ewan"...it's so stinkin' cute! Oh, and she likes to hold him, which I've always helped her do by holding up her arm. But now she tries to shove my hand away and hold him by herself...doesn't work so well! And Travis is much more aware of Evan than he was with Jayna (naturally, being older). If Evan's not in the same room, he asks where Evan is, and he lets me know when Evan is crying (like I can't hear it). He also likes to give Evan "kiss and a hug". At the same time, the kids have generally gone on with life as they did before Evan was around. So they've adjusted quite well, I think.

So that's where I'm/we're at right now. The first month or so with a newborn is awesome in so many ways, but it's also really tough in others, and I feel like we're past that tough point. The age Evan is entering now is one of my absolute favorites...he's sleeping better, on a somewhat predictable routine, and he's still so little but he's smiling and becoming more responsive. So fun!

I have lots of pictures I'll try to post soon....more to come!

Newborn antics

I love watching a newborn adjust to life outside the womb...their flailing limbs, varying facial expressions, wandering eyes. And the sneezes are pretty darn cute!

Evan's entrance

The story of Evan's entrance in to the world began early Easter Sunday morning, April 12th. I woke up around 4 am to a contraction, and quickly realized that labor was beginning. I had a hard time believing it at first...I was fully expecting to have to be induced the following week. It just didn't seem like my body was ever going to do what it was supposed to do. Despite the anxiety over what was to come, I was so thankful that I was going into labor on my own. This had been one of my greatest hopes for this labor...to not have to be induced with pitocin.

For the next few hours, contractions continued anywhere from 5-8 minutes apart, and varying in intensity. Some I wouldn't even register as painful, but some were definitely painful and required focus and steady breathing. At 7am I woke Steve up and told him the baby was on its way! I make fun of him because while most husbands would then start running around frantically, Steve's response was a slightly surprised "Cool!", followed by him remaining in bed. In his defense, he said that he could tell by how calm I was that there wasn't need for immediate action. And it's true, I was pretty calm at this point and knew it would probably still be a while.

We spent the next hour or two getting the last of our things and the kids' things gathered, and also making phone calls to Bette, who was taking the kids initially, to Julie, our doula, and to my mom, who was coming up to take care of the kids for our hospital stay. We even got the kids all dressed in their Easter outfits, as we weren't sure whether they'd be going to church or not (depending on which service Bette was attending). Steve ended up driving the kids to Bette's around 9:30. Meanwhile, Julie had advised me to keep moving and going about my morning, which I did. Not only did this keep the contractions coming, but it also made the contractions more bearable. Every time I sat down to relax, the contractions seemed much more painful.

By 11:15, the contractions were every 4-5 minutes apart and every one was painful. I decided it was time to head to the hospital, so we called Julie and let her know. The car ride was pretty miserable, but we made it to the hospital by noon.

Upon arrival I was checked into triage where they determined that I was in fact in labor (at 4 cm and 100% effaced). The interesting (and annonying at the time) thing that happened at this point was that my labor pretty much stopped. Contractions went back to maybe one every 10 minutes. So the triage nurse got me set up in a birthing room and advised me to walk around to get the contractions going again. We walked the loop for a good 45 minutes or so, and contractions picked up a little bit but not a lot.

My dr. arrived around 2:30, at which point she offered to break my water. I was nervous about this because I knew based on past experience that once she did this, labor (and thus, the pain) would take off. But I also knew that if we didn't do this, it likely would have been a very long time before things picked up. So we decided to go ahead with it.

The next hour sucked, as expected. At 3:30, I was checked and they told me I was at 6 cm. I was REALLY hoping I'd be farther along than that, and since I wasn't, I asked for an epidural. Within 15 minutes the anesthesiologist was in the room and ready to go, but when they checked me again before proceeding, I was at 8...meaning things were really moving quickly. Because of this, she (the anes. dr.) was hesitant to give me the epidural. She (and pretty much everyone) had a feeling that the baby would be popping it's head out before she would be able to complete the eipdural. And for good reason...this was my 3rd baby, and things were suddenly moving quickly, so things SHOULD have gone quickly.

In the end, she gave me the epidural, and it's a darn good thing she did! There were a few problems (that I'll explain in a minute) that would keep things from happening as quickly as they should have...while we all thought the baby might be out within a matter of minutes, it actually would be another 3 hours before Evan was born.

Julie and I both had a feeling that the baby was positioned incorrectly, and both the nurse and Dr. K. confirmed this...this was one of the holdups. He was rotated to the side and did NOT want to turn. Consequently, he was staying high up in my pelvis. We tried different positions, and Dr. K. tried internally turning him (sorry if this is TMI:), but nothing worked. Before the epidural, the position that was most comfortable for me was on my left side, but the baby really didn't like it...he kept having late heart decelerations, which is not a good thing at all. (This was likely due to cord compression). He did really well when I was on my right side, but the right side was excruciating for me (again, pre-epidural). So in this regard I was glad for the epidural because it allowed me to be in the position that worked best for the baby.

Another holdup was the fact that he had the cord wrapped around his neck and also around his shoulder, which obviously we didn't know about until he made his exit. But this probably also kept him from moving down and made it harder for him to move into the correct position.

Okay, so back to the story. I got the epidural at 4:00, and when they checked me at 5:00, I was at 9 1/2 cm (and probably had been for awhile), and I stayed there until 6:00. (At some point, my mom arrived from southern OR...we weren't sure if she'd make it in time, but she did, thanks to Evan being a slowpoke! I'm glad you could be there, Mom!) During this time was when they figured for sure that the position was wrong, and tried different tricks to rotate him. We were limited in this, however, because of continued late heart decels. At 6:00 I was in fact dilated to 10cm, so we started pushing. The first 1/2 hour or so was pretty ineffective, however, because he was still positioned incorrectly. After this 1/2 hour, I could tell my doctor was getting concerned. The baby's heart rate was still not bouncing back as quickly as it should, and my pushing didn't seem to be doing what it should (moving him down), meaning he just wasn't turning. The nurse and Julie both thought we needed to move me to my right side, so the doctor left for a bit while we tried that position. My doctor's concern worried me...I knew that the heart rate issues were problematic, and I really didn't want all of this to end in a C-section.

The great news is that once I turned on to my right side to try pushing in that position, I could immediately feel the baby start coming down. It was so strange...even with the epidural, I could very much feel his movement inside of me and could tell that this was the position he needed me to be in in order to turn. I think it was only 10 minutes or so before Judy, the nurse, called the dr. back in to say that she could see the head. (My dr. was out in the nurses' station, and when Judy gave them the news, I heard them all cheer, my dr. loudest of all. It was so encouraging to know they were all rooting for me!).

After this, he came pretty quickly. Again, it was so cool how much I felt...a TON of pressure, but no pain:) After just a few pushes, Dr. K. told me to stop pushing, and they got everything ready. I could hold off for a bit, but then I really needed to push. Dr. K. had me do little pushes, then one big one, and at 6:58pm, out he came! I looked down and saw that it was a boy, a perfect, beautiful boy. Looking back, I had become pretty focused and detached during the last hour or so, but once he came out, the tears came and I couldn't stop them! Meeting each of my children for the first time has given me the greatest moments of my life...moments that I wish I could relive. They put him on my chest right away, and Steve and I marvelled at our new son for quite a while before they went on with the washing/weighing, etc.

I think everyone (except maybe Julie?) was very surprised when they put him on the scale and it read 9 lb. 15 oz.! I had felt that he would be smaller than my other two, and even after he came out, he didn't look as chubby as Jayna had. The dr., too, didn't think the baby would be above 9 lbs. But we were wrong!

The remainder of our hospital stay was really good. I have to say that I am so, so grateful for the care I received throughout the whole process. Judy, my labor nurse, was great. Around 6:30, just as we were moving me to my right side, she told me that her shift ended at 7:00 and she really wanted to be there for my baby's arrival. She got her wish with 2 minutes to spare! Julie was amazing, too. During all the pre-epidural pushing/pain, the one thing she kept telling me that I swear was what got me through it was to stay on top of the pain, and ahead of the pain. Basically, she was reminding me to be in control of the pain rather than letting the pain control me. There were moments where I almost lost it, but she brought me back from the edge, so to speak. I was told by doctors and nurses that I was handling/handled the pain extremely well, but that was largely due to Julie's coaching. The anesthesiologist was incredibly efficient...she arrived quickly, and was honest and gentle in our discussion over whether or not to do the epidural, and she also kept checking back in to make sure things were going well. Finally, I have the best doctor ever! She wasn't even on call that day and she had plans to take her sister to the airport, but on Easter Sunday, she had her husband take her sister to the airport so she could come be with me. We both really wanted her to be there for the birth, and I am SO glad she was. I think the attending doctor can really make a difference in how your birth goes, and she was amazing, both during the labor/birth, and in the months leading to it. If anyone lives in the Tacoma area and needs a family practice and/or OBGYN, I've got your doctor! Oh, and my post-partum care was great, too...they took good care of me while also being respectful of the fact that this was my third and I didn't need to be told how to change a diaper of breastfeed correctly. I have loved each of my hospital stays...all the pampering, food brought to you and dishes washed for you, a little button to push when you need anything, and best of all, time dedicated solely to taking in and adoring your new baby. Does it get any better than that?!

So that is how Evan came into this world. Despite the "glitches", I am so happy with how the labor went and wouldn't change a thing in terms of how I dealt with it all. Physically, I am doing well. Tired, of course, but the recovery has been MUCH easier than it was with the other two. Emotionally, I'm having a hard time with the fact that it's over. I love the birth process, I love the newness and wonder of a newborn, and I know that all Evan's going to do is get bigger! This is what makes me want to just keep having babies! (Don't worry, we'll be reasonable!) On the other hand, we have SO much to look forward to. I can't wait to get to know Evan's personality, to watch him grow and interact with his brother and sister, to rediscover the world with him...like I said, there's so much to look forward to.

Evan Alan, I simply look at you and I tear up. Yes, I'm sure that's partly my raging post-partum hormones. But mostly, it's my crazy love for you. Nothing will ever take that away.

Julie took this picture at some point, and I love it. Steve has been so great through each of my labors...he really knows how to be there for me and help me through.

Seconds old.

Evan Alan has arrived!

I'll post more later about the details of the birthday and how things have been so far, but I just wanted to give some basic info, even though most of you have already heard...

Evan Alan arrived on Easter Sunday, April 12th, at 6:58 pm! He was a whopping 9 lbs. 15 ozs. and 22 inches long. I went in to labor on my own without needing to be induced, which I was grateful for. Labor was a total of 15 hours, and less than an hour of pushing. I'm feeling really good, and even though our hospital stay was great, it's nice to be home. Here are a few pictures...I'll post more later, and even more on facebook. We love him to pieces!! He looks just like a Butts baby, is so far very mild-mannered, and I can't get enough of him! Nothing beats having a newborn to hold!

Sunshine and a shower

Saturday was the first of FOUR whole days in a row of sunshine we've had here in Tacoma...finally! I've been missing the sun, and it's been so nice to get the kids out of the house and enjoy it. Saturday morning, we went to the annual Daffodil Parade. Last year, as you may recall, Travis spent the ENTIRE parade covering his ears AND crying. So much that we almost left the parade halfway through. This year, there was no crying, only covering of the ears. Improvement! Maybe that means next year he will actually enjoy the parade?! Actually, even though he didn't seem to be having the time of his life, he has referred back to the parade several times, talking about the things he liked (his favorites were the clowns and naming the instruments in the marching band). Jayna just kind of sat there taking it all in, but did get very excited every time she saw horses.

Travis sporting his new sunglasses...not yet knowing how loud the parade will be:)

And now he knows.

Mommy and Jayna, snuggled in a blanket.

And now Travis, finally happy.

After the parade, we went to McDonald's with some friends, and then Steve gave me a slightly fishy story that involved needing to stop by the church (but obviously not too fishy, because I believed him!)....as it turns out, a surprise baby shower was waiting for me there! Apparently it had been in the works for quite some time, and I had absolutely NO clue!! I was so not expecting it, and felt so loved and cared for. Thank you, ladies!! Thank you for celebrating this new little life with me!

Belly/Baby Growth

With each of the kids, I have taken monthly pregnancy pictures in the same outfit and location to show how much the baby and I grew from month to month. I'm not brave enough to do it in a bikini, but you can still see the change. It seems like the most visible growth always happens between months 5 and 6. Here are a few from this pregnancy...

3 months

5 months

7 months

9 months (taken yesterday) Notice my belly sticking out the bottom:)

Build-A-Bear and family update

It's hard to believe that we're already more than halfway through March, and the birth of our baby is just around the corner! As I talked about in a previous post, I had the idea a while ago to take the kids to Build-A-Bear and let them make a bear for the baby. Because of Steve's current work schedule, we were able to take them in the middle of the week when the mall was relatively empty, and we had all sorts of fun! If you've ever been to Build-A-Bear, you know that it is quite easy to walk away with a $50+ bear, and our goal was to NOT do that! The staff there was great and the kids really enjoyed themselves, though Travis has told Jayna every day since that the bear is for the baby, and not for her. Anyway, here are a few pictures from our outing.

The bear we picked out...

Travis is standing on a pedal that fills up the bear with stuffing...

Each of them put a heart inside...

The bear received an air "fluff bath"...

And the finished product!

Speaking of baby...physically, I am feeling great! Usually by this point I'm so beyond ready to get the baby out, but I'm really feeling good right now. Maybe in a couple weeks I'll feel differently! I'm a bit anxious about the timing of it all, but I know the baby will come when he/she is ready, and we will never be 100% ready, so there's not much point in worrying about it. My dr.'s appointments have been great, the baby is in the right position, and is measuring right on track. I am so thankful for such a smooth pregnancy! I do have a few specific prayers for the labor/delivery....

1)that my doctor will be there - I LOVE my dr. and really want her at the delivery, but she's going to be gone Apr. 2-8, which is right around when I'm due. Hopefully it will happen before then, but that might be very wishful thinking.

2)that it will be a fast labor (and not so much pushing...I pushed 3 1/2 hours with Travis, 1 1/2 with Jayna)

3)that the baby will not be too big...and by that I mean less than 9 1/2 lbs. (because I know I can push a 9 1/2 lb. baby out!)...mainly so that there won't be a lot of tearing and the recovery won't be so difficult. I honestly don't feel as big as I did with the other two, and I've only gained 21 lbs. this pregnancy, so hopefully that will mean a smaller baby. But who knows.

So if you're thinking of it, we'd appreciate prayer for those things! In any case, we are so excited! Very little in this world compares to holding your newborn in your arms!

Travis...well, half the time (maybe a bit more than half the time:), he is so difficult. I guess the hardest thing we're dealing with now with him is that he's begun arguing with us and talking back A LOT. Only 3 1/2, and already, he thinks he knows better than we do! I take comfort in the fact that most other parents of 3 1/2 year olds are dealing with the same issues, so hopefully it is normal and just something to work on, not necessarily something we're doomed to having to deal with for the rest of our parenting days. It is quite frustrating for both Steve and myself, however. One kind of funny new line he has come up with...after he does something he shouldn't and we talk to him about the way he should have acted (not thrown a fit, not argued, not hit Jayna, etc.), he says very matter-of-factly, nodding his head, "When I'm 81 I will do that". It's always 81...no idea where he came up with that number!

On the other hand, what keeps us hopeful and (somewhat) patient with him is the many moments of humor (he really is such a funny kid!) and of pure sweetness. I was sitting on the couch with him the other day watching a "big boy show", and out of nowhere he scoots really close to me, lays his head on me, and says, "I love you, Mommy" and gives me a squeeze. Oh, Travis, you have no idea how much I love you, too. You are growing way too quickly.

I've been doing a bit of research lately on preschool for him for next year. There are a variety of options, but I haven't found one yet that I really like. We know that preschool is not a necessity and that he will be prepared for kindergarten regardless, but for a number of reasons, we'd REALLY like to put him in preschool. He is SO ready for it, he really thrives in a classroom setting, he could use the time away from the house and with a teacher and peers, and I could really use the break, too! I'm hoping for 3 days/week, in the morning. There seem to be 2 main options...either a private school that would way too expensive (I looked up several, and the cheapest I've found is $160/month...yikes! And most were at least $200!), or a co-op-style, which is considerably cheaper but would be such a pain for me, having two other kids at home (plus almost all of the co-ops are in the afternoon, which won't work for us). So, we'll continue to weigh our options. I'm sure there are still options out there that we haven't yet thought about.

Jayna seems to have grown by leaps and bounds in the last few months...not physically, but in pretty much every other way. She talks SO much (at least at home)....way more than Travis did even at 2 1/2+. And she is incredibly observant, mimicking the rest of us in so much of what we do. I actually think that she could start potty-training soon, but we figure it's best to wait until after the baby is born to start trying.

I find myself especially attached to Jayna lately, likely because of the baby's impending arrival. I remember when I was 7 months or so pregnant with Jayna, and the night before we were going to switch Travis out of his crib into a big-boy bed, I sat by his crib as he slept and cried for a good 20-30 minutes. As excited as I was for Jayna to come, I really had a hard time letting go of Travis as "the baby" and the ease and wonder of being a parent of one. And of course, I felt guilty that we were forcing him out of the "baby" spot. I'm feeling a lot of those same things this time around. Maybe not as strongly, since I've already dealt with it once and divided myself once. But I'm constantly noticing how much older she seems, and yet how little she still is. She's been receiving extra kisses and hugs from me lately, that's for sure!

Steve is nearing the end of his 4-month police training. Actually, he is just beginning his final 2-week evaluation, after which he will hopefully be on his own (he's had a different training officer patrolling with him for each of the last 4 months). Fortunately, he will be able to take off a good chunk of time when the baby is born...we're still happily adjusting to the amount of time he spends at home! It will be nice, however, to have him on the same shift for awhile (in each of the four months he has had to switch shifts/days, and it's been a pain for all of us to have to keep adjusting). At this point, he will be on day shift through the end of the year once he's done with the training.

Like I said earlier, I am doing well. Just keeping up with housework and kids keeps me plenty busy, and I'm overwhelmed by all I want to accomplish before the baby comes. But I know I'll have to let some of that go. It will get done eventually. Our MOPS year is coming to a close (4 meetings left!), and the other coordinator is graciously doing everything she can to take the pressure off me. More of a concern to me is my high school 10-year reunion coming up in July, which I am doing much of the planning for. It is basically the last thing I want to deal with right now with this baby coming, but I will have to get going on it at some point. Eh...later:)

This video is actually pretty lame, but Bonnie says I should be posting more videos...so here you go, Bonnie! Also, the kids have been fighting like crazy lately, so I figure I should try to document any time they are actually getting along. This was just last week when it snowed, and they had been sitting watching it for a while before Steve got out the camera.